Life is overwhelming sometimes. I have realized though that I have gravely misunderstood a common adage, “you’ll never be given more than you can handle”. It’s a promise and an empowering claim BUT my mistake was thinking I had to do it all on my own. Jesus didn’t do it on his own. We know he prayed to his Father and he someone helped him carry the cross but an educated guess is that he didn’t wash all the clothes, cook all the meals, or handle all the tedious details that life requires on his own. Could he-sure. Can I-most days. It is so hard to admit you (me, anyone, and everyone) that we need help. However, I think the harder, braver thing to do is to wave the white flag and say- “I need help”. The next challenge is being willing to accept the help that is offered. It’s hard to articulate what your needs even are sometimes. Sometimes it’s easy-I need dinner or someone to visit. Others times you feel ridiculous asking for help doing the dishes, laundry, or hauling kids. I realize though, during the crisis I am experiencing, I need help. I also know that for me-it has to be an exchange. Sometimes you just need someone to not ask and just do. Sometimes I need to be that person and take that advice too.
God called us to be servants and yet most of us are not willing to accept help. I think we know we can’t do it all-not for ourselves sometimes and definitely not for others. We can only do, what we can. Sometimes any help is appreciated. Love is a verb. It is a word of action. It is giving of yourself, your time, or resources. I am humbly asking how I can help you-no matter how big or small, no matter how stupid or ridiculous it may seem. It’s all those things that add up to the weight you’ve been carrying. I know I can’t take it all but tell me what you need and I will do what I can to help. Maybe today all I can offer is prayers but tomorrow I can do a load of laundry or bring you dinner. I’m asking you to let me love you. Let me hold you and tell you it is going to be okay. Or let us sit in silence together. All you have to do is accept. You don’t have to wash your hair or clean your house. You don’t have to be anything other than who you are where you are right now.
In exchange, I am willing to accept the same. I am leaning in and on you right now. It’s a scary thing-inviting others into your mess. It’s vulnerable and raw. It’s extending your trust when you’ve been let down time and time again. When your trust has been broken and left in shards. For me, this has to be an exchange. I’ll let you love me, if you’ll let me love you back.